YOU AND me and ego

THE FIREHOUSE PAINTINGS

steven dayvid mckellar

Curated by victoria chapman and stevie kincheloe

OPENING JANUARY 25TH

el nido

12-4PM

1028 N WESTERN AVE

MELROSE HILL

exhibition hours: thursday and friday - 1 pm - 5 pm

Saturday 11 am - 2 pm

ARTIST STATEMENT

It’s 4am 

Winter is on it’s way 

And it’s dark and cold outside 

The comings of a bacteria rain in the distance 

From the upstairs of the FH, 

I can see over the small houses 

The neighborhood is dead quiet

And will remain so most of the day 

Not a lot of life in these streets

An area of a small Kentucky river town where drugs are rampant 

and children (if seen or heard)

speak with foul language 

and inherited distrust 

I feel like a maiden in a tower 

transmitting some lonely frequency 

Beep beep beep 

Silently 

It is very quiet here 

And the stairs leading down to the bottom floor 

create a moaning song arrangement 

as i descend 

But at the bottom lies all this paint 

and canvas 

and power tools 

and old bicycles parts 

and piled scaffolding 

and tall planks of wood leaned against the red brick walls

tarps 

and wood chips 

on the scarred floor of concrete

Along with dirt 

and hay 

And seeing all this 

My heart is singed with excitement 

and i put my headphones in

I’m barely awake 

But i feel like I’m the only person alive

And three hours could be three seconds 

And all of this could burn 

and be whittled down to 

a small pile of ash 

And in imagining this 

I could think of no greater manifestation 

bitches brew 

In a silent way 

On the Corner

The sound of it 

within a soft-dream mind 

is an avalanche in the head 

circular 

Perpetual 

Relentless 

Like pushing through a violent wind

no destination

in the thick of it 

where nature puts me 

Unmerciful toward circumstance 

and emotion 

Unceasing 

to our rules of comfort and conduct 

And Miles rages 

And i tumble and rage with him 

along with my guides 

who have ventured with me 

through all of it

And the break

when it comes 

and I step away 

is like life itself 

I have no idea what to think of it all

Cause that, was never the purpose 

It was to exist in it 

Of it 

Eat it 

Drink it 

Puke and shit 

Collapse 

Get up 

Drop the mic

Or the brush 

Or the trumpet 

And bow out 

And then, years later 

I was reunited with these works 

My mental and emotional state 

entirely different 

Seeing them again 

Spread out on the floor 

of my parents flat in Nashville 

It was like seeing old friends again 

Ones that are pretty new and unknown to you 

but your bond is that of brotherhood/sisterhood

bonded over the fire of life’s intensity 

Like tour mates 

If you allow it, you will find yourself

forever connected to the people you journeyed with 

One thing that isolation of that kind did to me 

It opened my subconscious more 

My conscious mind slowly realized 

that it wasn’t gonna be disturbed 

Phone off, no one i knew coming round 

And my subconscious followed suite 

eventually letting it sink

that it was not gonna be interrupted 

if I sat and staired at a wall for three hours 

Truth is 

I was ..really confused at the time 

About relationships, identity and purpose 

And I had to walk through it

It was a necessary wrestle 

You and me and ego

FUTILE TRANSLATION, 2021, MIXED MEDIA ON CANVAS, 44 X 34”

EXHIBITION STATEMENT

BY CURATOR, VICTORIA CHAPMAN

Steven Dayvid McKellar’s solo exhibition, “You and Me and Ego” is a raw and powerful exploration of the human condition, created during a time of profound isolation and emotional upheaval. Produced during 2021, in the basement of an abandoned firehouse in Henderson, Kentucky, this body of work delves deeply into vulnerability, fear, neglect, and self-discovery. Over the course of eight days in complete solitude, McKellar poured his emotional intensity into this series, resulting in a collection of works on paper and mixed paintings that are as bold and loud as they are transparent offering a visceral and unapologetic honesty.

Guests at El Nido will be immersed in a collection of seven mid-sized mixed-media paintings, each a testament to McKellar's distinctive creative process. These works combine acrylic paint, pencil, marker, dirt, hay, and, as McKellar notes, perhaps even horsehair. While some materials—like dirt—might be subtle to the eye, their presence enriches the tactile and conceptual complexity of the pieces. The resulting layered canvases reject perfection, instead embracing the raw authenticity that defines mixed media.

McKellar explains that in the spontaneous rush of creativity—and within the chaos of the abandoned firehouse where these works took shape—a variety of debris naturally found its way into the paintings. The process itself, intertwined with the environment, becomes as much a part of the artwork as the final pieces on display.

Born from the raw energy of a firehouse and shaped by an emotional emergency, McKellar’s latest exhibition exudes a sense of immediacy and fervor. Through his nuanced use of color, dynamic forms, and deliberate lines, he invites viewers into a deeply introspective dialogue on what it means to live, struggle, and find fleeting moments of joy. These paintings evoke the full spectrum of human experience—ecstasy and pain interwoven in ways that spark reflection and connection.

Expanding his creative repertoire, McKellar’s shift to mixed-media paintings on canvas highlights his relentless push toward innovation while maintaining an intimate and personal touch. The works blend figurative elements with abstraction, layering textures and materials to tell stories of identity and existence. Each piece becomes a complex narrative, where expressive lines and thoughtful compositions converge to explore universal truths.

McKellar’s creative foundation is deeply rooted in his upbringing, shaped by a legacy of art and self-exploration. As the grandson of John Rice, founder of Black Mountain College, McKellar embodies the college’s ethos of self-discovery and the creative process. Homeschooled by his mother, Lisa (Rice’s daughter), he absorbed values of compassion for the world and others while delving deeply into his own artistic identity.

What the paintings reveal is something unique. McKellar’s use of the figure is both intriguing and enigmatic. They sometimes appear as spirits or ghosts, perhaps representations of his psyche or intruding elements of consciousness that seem to haunt him. These spectral presences, born from moments of isolation and shaped by past experiences, dominate his canvases, serving as witnesses to his internal struggles. They appear as evidence of an artist grappling with the complexities of being, using his work to process and reflect on existence.

McKellar’s use of line is equally compelling. Lines begin and end abruptly, vanish into the composition, or are punctuated by bold, decisive marks. His interplay between the presence and absence of color mirrors this dynamic, often creating a tension that reflects moments of deep concentration and emotional release. These elements are born from a process that is less about thinking with the mind and more about creating through the vulnerability of the heart, hand, and soul—an act of letting go and simply existing within the creative spirit.

McKellar’s palette is a striking element of his work, imbuing his deeply personal and transparent paintings with a soft, almost ethereal quality. Delicate pastels—pink, blue, yellow, and red—dominate the compositions. These hues, neither earthy nor primary, are softened by the weight of McKellar’s lived experiences, creating a sense of beauty, care, and love. His colors transform vulnerability into a gentle yet profoundly powerful visual language, speaking directly to the viewer’s emotions.

What makes this choice even more fascinating is the immediacy with which the paintings were created. Despite the urgency of their origins, McKellar’s palette feels kind and unconditional, an intentional expression of compassion through color.

Reimagined anew, McKellar draws inspiration from artists such as Jean-Michel Basquiat, channeling a sense of individualism and strength that forges narratives with conviction and sincerity. At the same time, his paintings echo the light, airy quality of Cy Twombly’s works, where bare canvases and thinly applied paint create a subtle yet profound aesthetic.

A minimalist approach is a defining characteristic of McKellar’s style. While his paintings often incorporate mixed media, they frequently feature areas of bare canvas and sparse applications of paint, creating a dynamic interplay of give and take. This balancing act reflects McKellar’s physicality in creating his art—a sense of lightness juxtaposed with the profound weight of the stories he tells.

Rather than relying on heavy, layered compositions, McKellar embraces rawness and intentional restraint. His precise placement of paint reflects a poetic sensitivity to the medium. While some works are more layered, most remain deliberately pared back, conveying their narratives with authenticity and power. In certain pieces, the ghostly, unfinished quality evokes the fleeting nature of creation itself, capturing a moment that feels transient and sudden.

This rawness is where McKellar’s power lies. By leaving works unencumbered by overworking, he allows them to exist in the immediacy of their inception. Within this simplicity, a profound sense of ambiguity emerges, mirroring life: fleeting, uncontrollable, raw, and deeply vulnerable. McKellar’s paintings feel refreshingly honest, offering viewers a space to reflect on the transient beauty of existence.

Yet, beneath the minimalist precision of McKellar’s work lies a primal energy—an undercurrent of desperation, perhaps. During a period of isolation, disconnected from the world and abstaining from devices, McKellar sought guidance in an unexpected source: a deck of tarot cards. Time and again, he pulled the Tower card, a symbol of upheaval, transformation, and sudden shifts. For McKellar, the card was more than a coincidence; it became a jolt to his system, signaling a life-altering call to action and higher understanding.

The Tower card’s revelations felt electric, urging him forward into this intense, isolated experiment. While other cards surfaced during this time, none resonated as deeply as the Tower. Its message pushed McKellar to embrace solitude fully, plunging into eight uninterrupted days of painting. This transformative experience, guided by chance and the inevitability of change, infused his work with a raw immediacy that captures the vulnerability and unpredictability of existence.

In his artist’s statement—written in a stream-of-consciousness style, almost like a diary entry—McKellar reflects on this profound connection between art, solitude, and transformation.

I feel like a maiden in a tower,
Transmitting some lonely frequency—
Beep beep beep.
Silently.
It is very quiet here,
And the stairs leading down to the bottom floor
Create a moaning song arrangement
As I descend.
But at the bottom lies all this paint,
And canvas,
And power tools,
And bicycle parts,
And piled scaffolding,
And tall planks of wood leaned against the red brick walls.
Tarps,
And wood chips on the concrete floor,
Along the dirt
And hay.
And seeing all this,
My heart is singed with excitement.
And I put my headphones in.
I’m barely awake,
But I feel like I’m the only person alive.
And three hours could be three seconds…

While McKellar is undeniably forging his own path, his artistic philosophy is deeply influenced by the teachings of English painter, writer, and art educator Roy Oxlade. In his 2009 essay There’s an Iceberg Up Ahead, Oxlade wrote:

“Art’s first response must be to release itself from its old myths. For centuries, art has been so closely tied to the prevailing ideology that any need to adjust our way of life in a way that will make a difference to the planet’s current problems will mean that art too must rethink its position fundamentally. Art history is the ‘official’ art history and, as such, it stands monumentally as the custodian of the iconography of our mercantile past, itself currently on trial.”

McKellar credits Oxlade as a significant influence on his practice. What makes McKellar’s journey particularly compelling is its duality—shaped by the stark realities of growing up in apartheid-era Cape Town while forging a life and creative voice far from his roots. This juxtaposition of past and present informs his work, imbuing it with a profound sense of both resilience and self-discovery.

At its core, McKellar’s work is a testament to connection and resilience rather than destruction. While emotions naturally build to a breaking point that can feel destructive, McKellar embraces this intensity by facing his shadows directly, wrestling with them, and ultimately letting them go. His process mirrors the dualities of creation itself—building up and taking down. Yet, within this cycle, McKellar finds a sense of self-care, using art as a means to confront and reconcile with himself. He continuously returns to the mirror, meeting his reflection head-on, creating work that is as much about healing as it is about dismantling.

The firehouse, where this series took shape, becomes a poignant metaphor for renewal. It was in this space that McKellar reclaimed not only his artistic vision but also a deeper understanding of himself. His paintings radiate honesty and sincerity, offering glimpses into the heart of an artist who deeply cares about life, strives for growth, and shares his stories with a generosity of spirit.

The Firehouse Paintings highlight Steven Dayvid McKellar’s unwavering commitment to the creative process. These pieces draw viewers into deeply personal yet universally resonant narratives—stories of love, vulnerability, and the profound resilience of the human spirit. El Nido art space is proud to present this collection, a celebration of perseverance and a moving ode to the transformative power of art.

A NOTE ~ ABOUT THIS EXHIBITION AND ITS TIMING
(JANUARY 6 - 14, 2025)

STEVEN DAYVID MCKELLAR BEGAN INSTALLING HIS SHOW AT EL NIDO DURING A DEEPLY CHALLENGING TIME FOR LOS ANGELES, AS DEVASTATING FIRES SWEPT THROUGH PACIFIC PALISADES, MALIBU, TOPANGA CANYON, REUNION CANYON, THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS, GLENDALE, AND ALTADENA. BY JANUARY 11TH, THE FIRES WERE STILL BURNING, LEAVING A TRAIL OF IMMENSE LOSS—HOMES, CHERISHED BELONGINGS, MEMORIES, AND A SENSE OF STABILITY. AS WE NAVIGATE THIS MOMENT, WE APPROACH IT WITH PROFOUND SENSITIVITY AND RESPECT FOR THE HARDSHIP FELT ACROSS OUR COMMUNITY.

THIS CONTEXT LENDS A POIGNANT LAYER TO MCKELLAR’S WORK. THE PAINTINGS IN THIS EXHIBITION WERE CREATED IN 2019 IN THE BASEMENT OF AN OLD FIRE STATION IN KENTUCKY—A SPACE THAT BECAME A SANCTUARY OF CALM DURING A TURBULENT TIME IN HIS OWN LIFE. LIFE OFTEN MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS, INTERTWINING ADVERSITY WITH RESILIENCE AND INSIGHT. STEVEN’S CREATIVE PROCESS MIRRORS THIS TRUTH: THE QUIET YET POWERFUL ACT OF MAKING ART AMID CHAOS SPEAKS TO THE HUMAN CAPACITY FOR STRENGTH, TENDERNESS, AND TRANSFORMATION.

WHILE THE EXHIBITION REMAINS UNTITLED, ITS TIMING FEELS PARTICULARLY MEANINGFUL. THIS COINCIDENCE IS UNINTENTIONAL, YET IT HIGHLIGHTS OUR HOPE THAT STEVEN’S WORK OFFERS A SPACE FOR REFLECTION, HEALING, AND CONNECTION. HIS EXPLORATION OF LINE, COLOR, AND SPACE TRANSFORMS HIS PAINTINGS INTO VISUAL POETRY—EVOCATIVE COMPOSITIONS THAT ECHO THE SONGS HE HAS WRITTEN OVER THE YEARS. IN THIS WAY, HIS ART BECOMES A GESTURE OF SOLACE, INVITING VIEWERS TO EXPERIENCE MOVEMENT, LIGHT, AND EMOTION THROUGH THEIR OWN UNIQUE LENS.

WE ALSO HONOR THE PROFOUND SYMBOLISM OF FIRE STATIONS. THESE ARE SPACES WHERE INDIVIDUALS DEDICATE THEIR LIVES TO SAVING OTHERS IN MOMENTS OF CRISIS—HEROES WHO EMBODY COURAGE, SACRIFICE, AND HOPE. FIRE, WITH ITS DUALITY OF DESTRUCTION AND TRANSFORMATION, CONTRASTS WITH THE STEADFAST PURPOSE OF FIRE STATIONS: PLACES OF SERVICE AND UNWAVERING SUPPORT. IT IS HUMBLING TO CONSIDER THAT STEVEN’S WORK WAS CREATED IN SUCH A SPACE, IMBUING HIS PAINTINGS WITH AN UNDERCURRENT OF RESILIENCE AND CARE.

AS WE PRESENT THIS EXHIBITION, WE DO SO WITH DEEP EMPATHY FOR THOSE AFFECTED BY THE RECENT FIRES. OUR HOPE IS THAT THIS SHOW NOT ONLY ACKNOWLEDGES THEIR STRENGTH AND LOSS BUT ALSO OFFERS A QUIET MOMENT OF REFLECTION, CONNECTION, AND HEALING.

ABOUT THE ARTIST

STEVEN DAYVID MCKELLAR IS A MUSICIAN, PAINTER, AND POET FROM CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA. AFTER A 20-YEAR MUSIC CAREER, TOURING GLOBALLY WITH HIS BAND, CIVIL TWILIGHT, STEVEN BEGAN RELEASING HIS FIRST SOLO RECORDS AND RETURNED TO HIS ROOTS IN PAINTING. AS A CHILD, HE WAS TRAINED IN REALISM BY HIS AUNT AND RENOWNED SOUTH AFRICAN ARTIST DONNA MCKELLAR BEFORE FINDING COMMUNITY AND CREATIVE OUTLET THROUGH MUSIC AND POETRY.

IN SEPTEMBER 2022, STEVEN RELEASED ‘NAMA,’ A TEXTURAL AND RHYTHMIC EXPLORATION OF HIS SOUTH AFRICAN ROOTS AND IDENTITY. ‘NAMA’ IS A FOLLOW-UP TO TWO EARLIER MUSICAL RELEASES, ‘ETHIO’ AND ‘BELLEVILLE DEMOS’— SOON TO BE REISSUED.

AFTER A DEBUT SOLO SHOW OF HIS EARLY PAINTINGS IN NASHVILLE, TN AND A SOLO EXHIBITION IN LOS ANGELES, NOOIT GE DACHT, STEVEN HAS CONTINUED HIS EXPLORATION OF BOTH THE MUNDANE AND THE ESOTERIC, STRIPPING AWAY LAYERS OF IDENTITY WITH YOU AND ME AND EGO.